Marion’s Humor

I’m a very lucky woman!  A young comedian today has a lot to worry about.  She has to worry if she’s a hit or if she still is going to be a hit 10 years from now.  I’m a senior citizen.  10 years from now I’ll probably be dead, so I don’t have to worry.  I don’t care if I’m a hit or not because I have no future in the business anyway!

**********************************************************************

I’m about as small as you can get in the comedy field.  No one’s ever heard of me.  On the other hand, Jerry Seinfeld is about as BIG as you can get in comedy.  Everybody’s heard of Jerry.  In fact, Jerry is so famous that when he had a child it was all over the news.  But I’m not jealous because I KNOW that if I have a child it’ll be all over the news too!

**********************************************************************

This year I celebrated my 53rd wedding anniversary.
{applause} I DESERVE applause!  53 years with the
same man!  Believe me, it hasn’t been easy.

*****************************************

If there’s one thing I learned it’s that the worst thing married couples can say to one another is “You’re just like your mother!”  So my husband and I decided to go to marriage counseling so we could learn how to communicate better.  The therapist taught us to get in touch with our FEELINGS and to start to our sentences with the words “I feel.”  Now I say, “Honey, I feel unloved and unappreciated when you don’t bring me flowers – – – – you cheap bastard!” And my husband’s learned to say, “Sweetheart, Darling, I feel unloved and unappreciated when you don’t have a nice meal waiting for me at
the end of the day – you lazy Bitch! – We are getting along so much better now.